The Body Speaks Loud

It was 1995. I had everything I thought I was suppose to have at 33. A husband who loved me, 2 kids who filled my heart in ways I didn't know was possible. A home. A dog, a blue picket fence. I was extremely involved in church, teaching bible study, serving on all the committees and occasionally offering preaching/teaching at services. I had arrived! I had it all and I was miserable more and more of the time, but I could not figure out why!

How could I possible be so unhappy inside? How could I not see the beauty in life? Why did my mind race day and night. What was I searching for? What was the body symptoms of stress, building anxiety and the new experience of panic attacks that left me feeling absolutely broken and a bit crazy telling me?

On a sunshine filled day I decided to take the dog for a walk around about a 3 mile block. About a quarter of a way in I found a crow feather. I knew it meant something. I knew it was a message from the beyond. My mind moved to curiosity and my heart said your wake up call is coming very very soon.

Three quarters into the walk I freaked the fuck out. I didn't know then but I was experiencing the first of many panic attacks to follow. This one left me feeling absolutely debilitated. I stood frozen on the path. Logically I knew where I lived and I just wanted to be home and in the 4 walls of safety. But the body was broken. The mind shattered into a million pieces and I could not remember how to put one foot in front of the other. I was frozen in time.

A few years earlier I had lost the ability to cry. I turned off this powerful release mechanism because it made me feel weak. I use to walk in the rain when I felt like crying, which was occurring more and more of the time. In this moment I wanted to cry, scream for help, anything that would stop the madness I felt inside. Nothing would come.

20 minutes later, the panic was beginning to subside and the mind started to work again. One foot in front of the other I made my way home. I was stunned! How could I loose it like that? What now? I must be crazy! What does it all mean? And then I remembered the crows message...

When my husband came home from work the tears were flowing. I was scared to live. I was scared I was going to die. Fear rose within me from all directions as I moved through this wake up call. I heard myself say to him "I think I need to go see a shrink." At the time in my mind I had reached the ultimate failure. I needed help. The belief I had acquired from my up bringing around physiatrist was not a health one. It meant I was crazy. Perhaps beyond help.

Nearly 30 years later, here I am. Slap me on the fore head and tell me I'm healed! It's been quite a ride for certain. I did schedule an appointment with a physiatrist that day. She helped me to understand I had experience a panic attack. She wanted to medicate me on a daily basis, which because of my history of addiction I protested to until we came to the agreement of a pill I could take only if I absolutely felt an uncontrollable panic attack coming on. In truth I carried those pills with me for a decade or more. I used maybe 1 or 2 of the actual pills, but having them with me, knowing I had a way out should something more start, was the comfort I needed to move beyond and face the fears that were at the time beginning to run me.

It then became time to dig deeper. I had been doing energy work on people for years. I have been gifted with a knowing about peoples well-being or lack there of since I was knee high to a grasshopper. Now it was time to dig into me. What was it that was stirring me into this uncomfortable place. What was it I was wanting? What stories was I telling myself? What did I want to create from this? What did I want for me?

And so the inner game began for me back then to a new degree. I started to learn more and more about the makings of our systems body, mind, spirit and energy. I learned how to meditate. I learned vibrational techniques that quieted the mind. I learned how to tune inward to my systems and I learned how to move in alignment of my systems. I learned how the body shows the evidence of what the mind is thinking, conscious or unconscious. Our make up is a fine tuned machine. Over the decades of my work, Ive seen repeatedly the evidence of physical dis-ease starts in the mind until it becomes disease in the physical that gets our attention.

Most when faced with physical discomfort run to find the band-aide cure. They plead for relief of the symptoms. The magic happens when we become willing to go deeper to find the root cause of our pain, physical discomfort, stress, sleepless nights, fear filled days and the living of a life we do not love.

These days I partner with physicians, medical persons and holistic practitioners in support of well-being body, mind spirit for and with my clients. We cannot address one part of our being and expect wellbeing in all the parts of ourselves.

For me the panic attack was my wake up call. I was not listening to my heart. I was ignoring the feelings, emotions, desires and stress that were stirring me to awaken. I was a professional and shoving all emotion down, turning off the tears until I could not ignore the signs, messages and signals my body was sending me any longer.

Now I appreciate that fated day like no other. I love feeling good. I love listening to my heart and I love supporting others who are willing to go deeper into themselves and tune inward to the body, mind and spirit for guidance. If not for that fated moment in time, I might still be living a life I didn't love and living as an empty void.

Now I cry at a beautiful sunrise or sunset. I tear up as I hug my kids or grand babies or a client that I've served powerfully in awakening to the truth of themselves. I feel emotion every moment. My heart is happy looking at a beautiful flower, a hawk or raven or a rabbit visiting or the rain. I'm not afraid to love deeply. I not afraid to be loved freely. I'm not afraid more and more of the time I live fearlessly, freely, joyfully, abundantly, prosperously and in well-being body, mind and spirit. Gosh it feels good to feel good!

I want that for you. I want you to know joy. I want you to be excited about life. I want you to move in awareness of the body and mind messages you are being given. I want to support you in understanding yourself on multiple levels. I want to support you in being empowered, wealthy, free and fulfilled. I want you to know well-being for yourself body, mind, energy and spirit. Not just physically. All the parts of you!

Disclamer: I'm not a doctor, I have no desire to be a doctor. I do not diagnose, treat or cure. What I do is take your hand, create safe and sacred space for you to share your heart in self honesty. I listen deeply to what is being said and what's not being said. I feel you on multiply levels and I feel all your systems from the vibration you are emitting. I support you in tuning into your never ending guidance systems so you can create a life you love living. I encourage you to partner with your medical professionals every step of the way. I tune into Creator and creation, I listen for insight and guidance that I share with you in support of your beautiful being.

I love what I get to do. I love the life I have created. With the move to our new location the possibility's are endless in what we can offer in support of you creating and living your best life! Stay tuned for more.

As always feel free to email me with questions or comments.

We look forward to serving you in serving yourself.

Be Blessed

Be Peace

Be Love

~Anita🙏